Parents be merciful to your kids !! Kota in Rajasthan now symbolises a big time social malady... putting children under stress of unwarranted high expectations

#Kota in #Rajasthan now symbolises a big time social malady... putting children under stress of unwarranted high expectations.... one more suicide reported....Tests/Exams at coaching centres in Kota stayed for two months in continuation of "providing mental support and security". 

pls take care Parents, do not be unreasonable. 

Many years back -- long before I thought or planned my career as a journalist, I wrote a piece for 'Weekly Journal', Kohima -- 'Look before you leap'. !! My understanding was children/students should plan their career and they should not make joining science stream or excelling in it a prestige/ego/an issue of self respect. 

As per my own experience goes, I nearly collapsed...more so because there was so much of 'not understanding' atmosphere. 

Even my 'caring' parents behaved funny ! That was all middle class syndrome. Their world was surrounded by HALF EDUCATED - secured job wallahs selfish and corrupt Babus. Relatives were there only to instigate problems in our family ! 

 I may sound sadistic, some of them were punished by unseen hands of God !! 

Kota administration's order !!

My parents could not care differently !! The issue today is not to curse my dead parents, but it is also true without JOURNALISM I COULD HAVE TAKEN THE PATH OF SCORES OF KOTA STUDENTS !! 

Hence, despite all its limitations and sometime 'negativity', I am indebted to Journalism, because it saved me!  

Grand Mom, Dad, Mom: Love & Care can 'go wrong'

To come back to the subject why I am writing these lines today, I must admit -- perhaps I was mistaken to write 'Look before you leap'. That article was aimed at students. 

What is more important is - I was not alone. In north east, I found children of ex chief ministers and IAS officers going through what I suffered. Riato Jasokie, Editor of 'Weekly Journal', who published my article and paid Rs 50 those days was son of a popular Chief Minister J B Jasokie.  

Riato had said, " I also went through these". 

My sister was forced to learn Bangla classical singing. One notorious neighbour misguided my mom saying such a thing will help in her marriage. Little did they know for marriage, my sister had other plans. 

My brother was forced to take Biology because after 'plans' with me vis-a-vis engineering bombed; someone thought he should try medical line as well. 

What is more important and what I should have really done in that article is -- address the parents !! 

After decades now I realise with all anguish and pain, the world has not changed! 

Parents are still following a wrong path -- putting their offsprings into pressure ! Its very sad ! 

There are multiple factors leading parents turn heartless to their children and most of them may not know what they are doing ! 

But these suicides happening in Kota is truly a reflection of a social pattern! And hence depression is the order of the day !!  

Some middle class couples would be earning in terms of Rs 1.5 lakh to Rs 2 lakh a month on average, yet happiness and satisfaction elude them. 

Father is worried about next career jump or foreign posting, the woman of the house is not happy with just one Indian car for the entire family, where her sister has three. 

They deserve SUN-SHINE !!

The kid too is not happy as his/her parents wanted him to mug study materials, score marks and also at times do well in school debates. The parents still want children to be engineers and doctors. 

All these combine together to give the family a new malady called depression. 

It worsened in Covid era and later as jobs and the world of jobs became more difficult.

Worse set in around 2020. The national lockdown, economic crisis. The children lost touch with the outside world, gained weight and friendship became sharing nasty jokes on whatsapp. Some took to smoking and alcoholism. This uncertainty meant more depression, phobias and jealousy.

The year 2021, threw in many social challenges, even UNICEF said. Hence it is time to hold the bull by its horns. There was an increase in 'anxiety' percentage too by about 25 per cent.

One claim has been - more than ever before people googled, "How to maintain mental health or fight depression?"

"Children in India have been through a challenging time living through the risks and restrictions posed by the pandemic. Nothing could have prepared them for the onslaught of the second wave of the pandemic that hit India earlier in 2021. Children witnessed suffering and uncertainties that no child should have to see," said a senior UNICEF India official.

Psychiatrists and sociologists say the challenge is a harsh reality, with no point in mere lamenting or simply gossiping or sharing about it on social media. More important is to take adequate and appropriate measures.

And to recommend one measure, I will say -- let the children live their own lives. Be a guide and not a shark in the garb of becoming concerned parents !

If one parent is unreasonable, the other member (spouse) should soften stance, control greed and ambitions.

Specialists will say it's important to tackle the problem of mental stress immediately. 

Or else the cautioning could be mild, but serious - mankind is heading for a major health and social crisis. 

And forget mankind, the crisis can be in your nuclear family !! 

Be merciful, do not be guided and rather misguided by your relatives and 'self seeking' friends. The life of your precious one is more important than even landing on the moon.

I make the request folded hands, because I am talking more in first person; and thank stars that I did not do anything silly !!  

(expecting few comments) 

 

ends