Five years and counting .....
Late Nibaran Chandra Deb/Dev (1 Dec, 1933 to 29 Oct, 2020)
Our dad - Baba - left us on Oct 29, 2020 around 2 am.
We lost our mother (on Nov 11 - 2019). Both of them simply walked into death within a short spell of time. With mom. we did not know much as all her three children, spouses and their grand children were out of home/station. She expired in Siliguri.
Only father could see and talk to her at the last moment.
Baba left perhaps within ten-fifteen minutes about 11 months after my mother had collapsed.
No much hardship and no much time for us to do any trick, doing miracles with medical science etc. In hindsight, for both I felt happy as they did not suffer as a paralysed man/woman in bed or so.
Remembering them - one remembers a few anecdotes. I keep telling this story time and again.
I still remember a time when from Nagaland I had sent him some money and his response was in the form of a 'Question' : "Hope this money is not from any unfair means, how could you manage extra income as a freelancer?"
Of course, my mom was no different. Later I came to know, it was my mother Minati (Minu) who had put this idea to him and cajoled him to ensure that their eldest son does not fall into 'wrong hands'. These episodes leave a permanent influence on individuals.
There was a touching message from S S Ahluwalia, then BJP MP representing Bardhaman-Durgapur parliamentary constituency in West Bengal, when my mother had expired on Nov 11, 2019 and he had said:
"Dear Niren, Sorry to hear about your mother's departure to the heavenly abode. Everything can be substituted but not father/mothers.
Father/Mothers are like a banyan tree in the courtyard under whose cool shade children,grandchildren & great-grandchildren find love, care & prosperity. Me & my family extend our deepest condolences & share your grief.
May WaheGuru give your family & you the strength to bear this loss. Yours in grief, Monica & Surendrajeet
(SS Ahluwalia ) MP Bardhaman-Durgapur
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| S S Ahluwalia |
There were many others and I would not repeat those messages or name them either.
Their moral support gave us moral courage to face the heartless world better. There would be many tales and anecdotes about my dad and his mannerism. His conduct with relatives and his friends was unique -- one of a concerned well wisher.
Precisely many of them later said - only the other day or even on October 28 (2020) till evening, he had advised some people to keep records/papers of their banking transactions religiously.
He also informed an aunt of mine that her pension would increase by this and that percentage by year end or so.
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| Tanvi with Dadu: Birthday bash Dec 1, 2019 |
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| Both my parents and their grand daughter - Spl boating Teesta |
There is a Paresh Rawal Gujarati film and the elderly protagonist played by the actor almost resembled my dad.
The protagonist (Paresh Rawal) is told about death of an acquaintance. And then he dials up the deceased's son... and asks him -- "Are you his younger son.... where is your brother these days.... Did your father leave any will about the house. It is in whose name.... " ... etc etc.
My dad has done something like that to many people. Sometime even asking embarrassing questions.
"Will you still stay separately away from home ... with your wife ? Now your dad is gone... what will your mother do". (sample of my father's master pieces).
Among anecdotes .... - he had a colleague .... who was little shaky about himself and would time and again consult his wife. Once that gentleman sought Baba's advise on what he should do about his ailing son.
We were in interiors of Mizoram those days and my father's advice us --
"Arey bhai ... take your child to Kolkata (Calcutta then) ... cross river Brahmaputra... But first take your Home Minister's permission. You cannot decide anything on your own".
That gentleman helplessly told my father -- "yes sir... yes sir".
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| Mom: She loved using Hockey sticks on two sons but gave me 'love for literature' as her legacy |
Once dad and my brother Nirmal had gone to see a girl for bro's marriage.
My father asked that girl -- "What do you like about life ... what is your hobby ?"
The girl responded (sincerely to an extent) : "To watch TV .... listening music and songs".
Our oldie gentleman did not like such responses. And he quickly said: "Good ... good ... Khub Bhalo ... ei shab hi bhalo". No marks for guessing.
That girl never came our home. And her family understood what is being sarcastic.
He had called me Pandit.
.... Not as a proud father. The same sarcasm. His signature style. And the height of it was -- he said that to my daughter "Tomar baba ... ekjon pandit".
(Your dad -- this poor blogger -- is a scholarly person)".
The timing was Covid19 era and Narendra Modi's lockdown. My fault was -- "Why you keep displaying this angry face... you can read books ... I have so many of them and even your favourite writers. Ma would have read at least".
Done .... !! Hence came the award 'pandit' for his eldest son.
Still... miss you mom and dad.
After you both are gone.
One knows the pain of being the eldest child. One cannot look up. One is alone.
This loneliness will end ... only the day ...only when we meet up there.
Ma will advice - "Have some fruits ... you never made that habit".
And the 'General Musharraf (this name was given by dad's Siliguri-based friends) -- will shout everyday -- "Arey lazy gentleman ... get up... It's 10 O' clock in the morning. Those who sleep like this ... their luck also sleeps".
Last part seems to be true. But my complain remains -- "Baba you did not know my insomnia of 30 years and you never understood that I do most of my good writing works past-mid night".
He never liked my Journalism too.
Only consolation remains -- Narendra Modi too was a disobedient son.
"What did you bring with you, which you have lost? What did you produce, which has been destroyed?
You need not lament the past, do not fear the future....The present is passing as it should"--- Bhagwat Geeta
Namaskar.
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| Covid19 Days -- Evening Walk - Mayur Vihar, New Delhi |
ends
Remembering parents on the death anniversary is welcome but their contribution towards us is beyond description. So every time we chant God, we must chant them .... That is the real tribute -- S Dhar, Silchar, Assam
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