On the face value one can start with this -- the Children of middle-class families face 'pressure to succeed' and live up to their parents' dreams, which often lead to anxiety and tension.
"My parents thought I will make them richer and bring out of poverty .... I started getting more and more fearful", -- says character Raju Shrivastav in film 'Three Idiots'.
This certainly exemplifies one of the problems we face in the society. And this is perhaps increasing by the day.
Some parenting styles may be overly authoritarian or emotionally distant, leading to a lack of emotional connection and a tendency to use harsh punishments.
Let us go step by step or rather layers after layers.
Schools, teachers, society, parents and relatives -- everyone must evolve.
Academic brilliance alone is no longer a marker of readiness to face life or the challenges and complexities of the world.
Emotional intelligence, inherent resilience ability and empathy must be cultivated.
The meaning of the term "pedagogy" is often contested and a great variety of definitions has been suggested.[6] The most common approach is to define it as the study or science of teaching methods.[6][7] In this sense, it is the methodology of education.
As a methodology, it investigates the ways and practices that can be used to realize the aims of education.
The main aim is often identified with the transmission of knowledge. Other aims include fostering skills and character traits.
They include helping the student develop their intellectual and social abilities.
Experts suggest that the goal should not be to crush confidence but to contextualize it.
Teach children that confidence isn't about always being right - it's about being willing to learn.
Show them that humility is not weakness, but wisdom. Encourage them to speak up, but also to listen deeply.
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| Blogger's daughter Tanvi, her friends and teacher - Modi's Pariksha pe charcha (2023) |
One of the first questions I asked during a Parents-Teachers meet of Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan School (KG Marg), New Delhi when she was in first standard was --- "How would you discuss and elaborate on the saying - Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child".
The expert hosting the show/interaction gave her reply no doubt. But this aspect remains a very complex question of our time.
Times have changed. The rod/stick or my mother's Hockey stick had a purposeful existence when you were young.
Me and my brother have several memories. I always tell my daughter -- this aspect of life (rather reality) is something she and generation kids have missed.
My daughter is in her teens. The Gen Z and even those born say on or after 2015 or so are all the more 'different stuff'. These days there is a big debate on social media and elsewhere on how a Class V student "misbehaved" with Amitabh Bachchan during the making of an episode for popular programme KBC.
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| Young 'Kaun Banega Crorepati' contestant Ishit Bhatt from Gujarat |
Parents undeniably play a major role in guiding their child’s behaviour, says Dr Sushma Gopalan, a child psychologist with Aster Whitefield Hospital.
“But expecting them to have complete control is unrealistic and unfair", she says (India Today).
Being on national television is nerve-wracking, even for adults. For a child, it’s amplified. “Excitement or nervousness can easily manifest as arrogance or rudeness,” Dr Gopalan notes. “Children often perform emotions, not out of bad intentions, but because they’re still learning how to manage them.”
What might appear as cockiness could, in reality, be a coping mechanism, a way to mask anxiety and hold on to control in an overwhelming situation.
There is another issue related to bringing up a child or being part of a nuclear family and a careerist at the same time.
Around 2022, I worked on an article on Depression. These are happening mostly with grown up people.
Theoretically some symptoms of depression could be noticed in an individual and so his or her near and dear ones ought to take note of some of these problems.
"Keep an eye on someone who feels 'hopeless' about life even if he does not get his/her morning cup of tea. This could be a mood swing, but it may have a mental reason for depression," I had written for 'Organiser'.
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People with children take selfies with a man dressed as Santa Claus on Christmas Day at a church in Amritsar in 2020 (snap AFP/UCA News) |
Various studies reveal :
Parenting is increasingly challenging for families living in modern environments with higher workloads, reduced social support and greater daily stresses.
In India, the number of two-income couples increased by 58% between 1979 and 1996 and these leave impact on children.
An additional problem is that children receive different information than their parents and hold more Western notions about how to live and express their individuality. This can lead to parent–child conflicts, particularly when parents place high values on family relationships and patriarchal/parental control.
There is a societal change and major ones. The transitions have led to a generation of parents who tend to feel lost regarding their role.
Parents have to handle different kinds of pressures. The EMIs for cars, houses and other accessories.
Birthday parties, return gifts and holidays -- everything now are much more expensive than those were three decades back.
As a result, parents often do not know how to ‘push’ or when to ‘let go’.
The quickly rising group of ‘middle-class’ Indian parents is affected alot.
There is not only neo-middleclass; there is also neo-rich individuals and families and people do not know how to handle children.
ends
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