Updated: Tributes to a 'VIP father' from a commoner and a struggling journo !!

                          Late Nibaran Chandra Deb (1 Dec, 1933 to 29 Oct, 2020)

(do not get confused with surnames 'Deb' and 'Dev' --- Meghalaya Board of School Education had called me 'Dev')

Anecdotes:

My dad served with Assam Rifles, the paramilitary force that is governed by Home Ministry norms but has army command for all anti-insurgency operations.

So well-knit was the cultural affinity in Assam Rifles camps that even in the 1980s, in Mizoram’s border town of Lunglei where the 18 Assam Rifles camp was situated, Christian Lushai soldiers greeted their officers with “Ram Ram sahib” salutation. Hence, for my younger brother, “breakfast” meant “aloo-puri sabzi” from the langar (soldiers’ mess) and “Ram Ram sahib” was the Hindi version of “Good morning, sir”. And Baba always loved these small "reminiscences". 

*****

Around this time of the year even last year if someone had asked me who the people are - I love most but fear as well. My answer would have been an easy one - my parents.

Daughter and the 'bitter wife' could also fall in this category of course. But with the 'bitter half' - a product of communists'family and yet God fearing lady' - the tagging of 'fear' and disagreement would be more.

But the big message for me is - time can be ruthless boss; "you are orphan within a year" ! No more those taunting words, those caring one-liners. Those descriptions -  "Don't bring your journalism logic in family matters" or "You always think like a Naga"!!

But my father has been a unique personality in more ways than one. A man who not only believed in honesty but believed firmly in implementing that. I still remember a time when from Nagaland I had sent him some money and his response was in the form of a 'Question' : "Hope this money is not from any unfair means, how could you manage extra income as a freelancer?" Of course, my mom was no different. Later I came to know, it was my mother who had put this idea to him and cajoled him to ensure that their eldest son does not fall into 'wrong hands'.This is one small anecdote. 

Another small story is related to dad's death and cremation. My father on Oct 29, 2020 around 2 am like my mother (on Nov 10 late night - 2019) collapsed and simply walked into death within a short spell of ten minutes. 

No much hardship and no much time for us to do any tricks, doing miracles with medical science and running around with medicos and in hospitals. In hindsight, I feel happy and he did not suffer as a paralysed man in bed or so. More so at this time of Covid19 restrictions and supposedly bad conditions in hospitals. 

Covid-induced Evening walk

second part 

Tribute Link

If death should come, it should come like this. Now, comes my father's affinity towards 'style' and 'status' affairs. As a former Assam Rifles man, he was always conscious about 'proper respect' and so on; and thus when we cremated him at Dayanand Muktidham Crematorium, Lodhi Road little did we realise that he was given the farewell at a premier crematorium wherein several Delhi VIPs and commoners are given the last rites.

Frankly, it was not planned. I was in a shock and did not know how to go about especially given the Corona restrictions. Thanks to my Mayur Vihar neighbours at Manas Apartment and they came forward to provide all kinds of assistance notwithstanding the fear of Covid19.

And as someone suggested and he volunteered to call up the Crematorium staffers and did the booking. Baba, as I know, must be happy about all these, and should bless all. 

At the crematorium there is a sign board over a shaded portion where we performed the last rites before taking the body to the place where it was bid farewell.

It reads - • Jo hua achcha hua, jo ho raha hain, achcha ho raha hain, jo honga, wah bhi achcha hi hoga. Tum bhut ka shok na karo, bhavishya ka dar na karo. Vartman chal raha hain.

Meaning - 

"Whatever happened, it happened for good.  Whatever is happening, is happening for good.  Whatever that will happen, it will be for good.  What have you lost for which you cry?  
What did you bring with you, which you have lost? What did you produce, which has destroyed?  You need not lament the past, do not fear the future....The present is passing as it should"

 

Personal notes:

Of course, to be orphan within a year is a real shocker !!

A 'gentleman' among lawmakers of India - Bhartruhari Mahtab of Biju Janata Dal sent in a very touching whatsapp message.
"So sorry to learn that your father has passed away before completion of one year of your mother’s demise. I pray God give you strength in this time of grief."

Mr Mahtab: Cuttack MP 

Very encouraging words certainly !!

There was a similar touching message from S S Ahluwalia, BJP MP representing Bardhaman-Durgapur parliamentary constituency in West Bengal when my mother had expired on Nov 11, 2019 and he had said:

"Dear Niren, Sorry to hear about your mother's departure to the heavenly abode. Everything can be substituted but not father/mothers. Father/Mothers are like a banyan tree in the courtyard under whose cool shade children,grandchildren & great-grandchildren find love, care & prosperity. Me & my family extend our deepest condolences & share your grief. May WaheGuru give your family & you the strength to bear this loss. Yours in grief,Monica & Surendrajeet

‌(SS Ahluwalia ) MP Bardhaman-Durgapur

There would be many tales and anecdotes about my dad and his mannerism, conduct with relatives and his friends.

The most striking part since he breathed his last and we are interacting with his old and new acquaintances perhaps his simplicity and his care for fellow friends and relatives. He would keep contacts with several of his colleagues and many of them were surprised to hear about his death.

Precisely many of them said - only the other day or even on October 28 till evening, he had advised some people to keep records/papers of their banking transactions religiously. He also informed an aunt of mine that her pension would increase by this and that percentage by year end or so.

Tanvi with Dadu: Birthday bash Dec 1, 2019 

 

And many of my Facebook friends said - arey only the other day, you put some snaps of his and he looks all right. That's true. He was okay till the very last moment.

A cricket fanatic; he even saw the October 28 encounter between Mumbai 11 and Bengaluru team. At the end of the match, he told his Bahu (Swati Deb) - "Virat Kohli is unable to play well these days".

Just a few hours back, he relished 'Pabda-fish' and shared his appreciation --- a rare one - saying "Bah"!

Few more anecdotes:

Of course, I keep saying and writing that he never approved my decision to join journalism. He described out profession with a Bengali saying: "Boner mosh boney pathano (Sending wild animals to the wilds). - Meaning - a big zero in terms of results.

Of course, I do not agree to his typical conservative sentimental dialogue. But there were some merits as far as his concern for his eldest son goes! Journalism is now the most unstable profession!

Tripura: playing 'eldest Bahu' hunter

But dad did a few things - unthinkable at one point in my life. He started keeping newspaper clippings, especially my articles in newspapers like 'The Statesman'. I served with 'The Statesman' between 2008 and February 2016.

In one of his telephone directories, he even noted - how and why I missed 'birthday' of 2017 as I had to go to Ahmedabad to cover Japanese PM Shinzo Abe's visit. 

(Sept 12/13...Abe was in Ahmedabad to announce Bullet Train)  

"Pronam Dadamoni, "May his departed soul rest in eternal Peace. Jekhani achhen bhalo thakben proti muhurtey Dadamoni aponake Mis Kori" - Pranab (Babla) Roy, Dimapur

(Most of you might have been bored...but these lines come sincerely and I would appreciate comments from all the patrons of my blog. Your words would give me strength at this time of crisis and of course would be appreciated by that conservative gentleman called my father) 

(This piece will be certainly edited and added with more stuff as I recall some stories or will be narrated some old stories by his friends, former colleagues and relatives) 

Dad, AR officers and colleagues: Jairampur, 1960s

(warm regards to all)